Monday, October 23, 2017

Life Lately

So...I've posted once in the past year.

The past 21 months have been the hardest of my life. Full of joy, but also frustration. I've felt happiness and hurt, contentment and frustration, excitement and pain.

We have fostered 5 kids between ages 10 and 18, adopted one 17 year old, helped one 18 year old transition out of the foster care system into adulthood and currently have 2 (ages 11 and 17) living with us.

I have hesitated about posting on here about it, because I have so many fears - fears of sharing too much, fears of sharing too little, fears of certain people reading my words and somehow using them again me, fears of our kids reading them and being hurt or feeling exposed, but I believe that God has us on this path not only to care for the 5 kids he's brought to us, but to share about this crazy world of foster care/adoption that is not talked about enough, that is not shared enough while there are hurting kids out there that just need at least one caring adult to change their entire lives. Programs, the government, money cannot be what helps them - they need love. And if they don't get it from loving parents, they will seek it elsewhere, no matter what "assistance" is given to them.

So I can't share details, but I CAN share what God is teaching me and generally what it looks like. And y'all, I need blogging back in my life. I miss it. I miss y'all though I've kept up with many of you in other ways. I can't do this to make money or be stressed about sticking to a posting schedule or beat myself up when I don't post for a while.

I have a full-time job, a very stressful one at that, but I don't feel that God is telling me to leave it. I feel like I'm where I am supposed to be for now.

I sit here drinking my pumpkin spice coffee (yay for all things fall!) in my Best Mom mug (thank you Tiffany!!!), the weather is getting cooler here and I just had sweet time with Jesus. My life normally is the opposite of this. But my parents took the kids for the weekend and allowed my husband and I to relax and just spend time together. I didn't even realize how much I needed this!

It takes me over a year to finish a Bible study (still working on Caroline's study though it's amazing!), I rarely get alone time and all I focus on is how stressed I am. But this morning, God reminded me that I need to just BE STILL (Psalm 46:10, Exodus 14:14). Be still, Kelli! Focus on Me, don't worry about all those things that stress you out.

I'm ready to take my life back from stress and worry and give it to God. Let Him be in control instead of trying to control it myself. Psalm 37 has been on repeat for me lately. I'm going to read it every day for a while.

"Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust Him and He will help you. He will make your innocence radiate like the dawn, and the justice of your cause will shine like the noonday sun. Be still in the presence of the Lord and wait patiently for Him to act." - Psalm 37:5-7

On Friday, we just stayed home, cooked dinner and caught up on This Is Us episodes. I was exhausted from crying because that darn show makes me cry every single time! I love love love that they're showing foster care now! The adoption story also hit home, though it was a bit unrealistic. Unfortunately, when kiddos meet their bio parents later in life, it's normally not such a pretty story. But I hope it is for some! However, this foster care story with the young girl coming into Randall's home is on the money. Welcome to our life!

On Saturday, we slept in, I finished Big Little Lies (the show, since I had read the book a while back) and then we went to Wimberley to shop, visit wineries and eat at the original Salt Lick BBQ. Oh my goodness it was delicious. We used to get more trips like this before kids so it was really fun!

I hope to blog more often so come back! There is so much to catch up on!

Friday, January 20, 2017

10 Random Facts About Myself

I saw Jenny's post linking up to Erin and even though the link up is over, I thought it'd be fun to join in anyway!


I CANNOT stand nail files. I do not use them and I hate when people around me use them. Even the sound makes me cringe! I will spend forever shaping my nails with clippers until they are perfect so that I don't have to use one of those.


If I could re-do college and my career choice, I would have studied mechanical engineering and become an astronaut. It was a childhood dream and it just hasn't gone away. But I'm not going back to school at this point! My accounting degree is just fine!


I often feel like Kevin and I are crazy. We don't know a single family that started foster/adopt like we did (young, no kids, BAM! older kids overnight). We do have friends that have older adopted kids, but they were younger when they came to them or they had biological kids before fostering/adopting. I wonder if we're the crazy ones for doing it the way we have.


I have a lot of anxiety - especially since starting foster care. I've gotten to where I drink decaf coffee because the caffeine in regular coffee just puts me over the edge.


I cannot sleep in PJ pants! I hate it. I love wearing them around the house but I HAVE to sleep in shorts, no matter how cold it is. PJ pants get all bunched up and drive me bonkers!


I'm often mistaken as my kids' sister. While I take it as a compliment that I look young, it makes me feel like they think I'm too young to have kids (or older kids). Had I gotten pregnant at age 16, I could absolutely have children the age of ours.


I'm in a weird place right now. I feel overwhelmed with life (hence, not posting in this blog) yet I can't figure out what to change. We go to support groups, go to counseling, have date nights, started working part time (though I'm working full-time during busy season right now), spend time with Jesus, yet, I still don't feel calm. We're praying about what to do because we know that something still need to change. Foster care is harder than anything you could possibly imagine (unless you've done it) because not only is it physically exhausting, it is one emotional roller coaster ride EVERY SINGLE DAY. Hard topics such as rape, drugs, abuse, mental illness and abandonment are on my mind every day.


Lularoe leggings are the most comfortable pieces of clothing I've ever worn. Though I wish retail was a little cheaper than it is, I keep buying Lularoe items because of the darn comfort!


I'm LOVING my new Spiralizer! I've made noodles with zucchini and the whole family loves it! Does anyone have any good Spiralizer recipes they want to share with me?


The hubs and I are going to Seattle in a couple months for a conference/getaway and I get to see Tiffany!! I'm super pumped about it! 

Have a fabulous weekend!!!! XOXO