Monday, February 1, 2016

The Many Emotions that Come in Anticipation of Foster Parenting

There are many emotions involved as we anticipate becoming foster parents.  Click here to read about the one's most people experience!


Have you ever had so many emotions running through your mind that you really don't know how to answer someone when they ask you "how are you feeling?"

Lately, I truly don't know how to answer that question, because I'm feeling excited, scared, happy, sad, nervous, frustrated, blessed and overwhelmed.  Did you notice how all-over-the-place those emotions are?

So....we're supposed to get our first placement today!  It may or may not happen depending on a judge's signature and we've already had our introduction to the frustrating "system" so who know what'll happen today?!  I'll be able to give you a better answer tonight so if you have my number, please feel free to shoot me a text!  I love to know that people are praying for us and thinking of us.

I'VE BEEN EXCITED.  I'm thrilled to be getting a child in our home!  This is what we've been anticipating and we're really really excited to finally have children here.  We have 7 open beds that are ready for warm bodies!  We're excited to learn more about the kids, love on them and show them the love of Jesus.  We're excited to take them hiking, play board games with them, watch movies with them and even cry with them when times are tough (which will be SO often!).

I'VE BEEN SAD.  Now while we're excited to get a child or children in our home, so much sadness comes along with it.  This is NOT an exciting time for the children.  They were let down by their own parents/family and entered into a broken system.  I don't want to jump for joy when they get here and I also don't want to break into tears (which I'm totally afraid that I'll do).  It's such a weird feeling to be excited to meet them, but hurt for them in this really sucky time in their lives.  People tell us "congrats" and while it's kind of is a "yay" time for us, it's not AT ALL for them.  There is usually no joy in being torn from your own family, even if it was an abusive situation.

I'VE BEEN SCARED.  There is always that fear of failure.  Have you mamas felt like that right before you had a baby?  "What if I mess up?" "What if I'm a bad mom?" "What if the child hates me?" The truth is, I will mess up.  All parents do.  But with the help of the Lord, I'll get back up and learn from my mistakes.  Only He can give me the strength to parent in the way that He wants.  I know parenting is hard, but parenting through the foster system has it's own complications added to it.  There will be some things that some moms just don't understand and there will be some where they can help me.
 
I'VE BEEN HOPEFUL.  Since God called us to this mission, He will get us through it.  I have to rely on His strength and not my own, especially when it really sucks.  Let me say this - we know that we don't know how hard it's going to be, but that doesn't stop us from being hopeful.  God hasn't called us to live a comfortable life.  Sometimes, living to glorify Him is uncomfortable - it's hard, but worth it.

I'VE BEEN FRUSTRATED.  I don't want to offend anyone here.  So please bear with me.  It's hard when you don't feel understood.  We're different.  Most people aren't going to understand why we're fostering so we don't have their support - even family members.  We've been surprised, because there are some people that we thought would support us, that haven't.  If I were having a baby, they'd be all about the baby showers and asking questions about gender and nursery and names.  But because I'm not, some didn't come to our "new parent shower" and when we've updated them, they just say "congrats" or "it'll be interesting" or nothing.  We can tell who genuinely cares by the questions that people ask us.  On another note, the system is frustrating.  It's just so broken and sometimes you wonder who really has the best interest of the children in mind.

I'VE FELT BLESSED.  I know that God is calling us to a big thing.  I feel so humbled that He's chosen to use us.  I will probably look back and think "oh my goodness I had NO clue as to what was in store for us," but I do know one thing - we're following what God has told us and that's all that matters.  We'll get through it no matter what the journey ends up looking like.  I just pray that He was glorified through it all.

25 comments:

  1. I really hope that today is the day for you so that you can feel excitement and so that sweet foster child can start to feel the love from you both! xo, Biana -BlovedBoston

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks for posting this!! I know exactly what to pray for now... including forgiveness for myself and the nasty thoughts I had about those nasty people not recognizing what a fantastic (and sincere) calling this is. I will refrain from going into things they probably think are okay, but HARUMPH to them. Praying for you. :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. I'm thinking of you guys and praying for you today! If you need anything (even to just vent) message me! My best advice is be prepared for anything--depending on the child, they want nothing but hugs and reassurance or they may want to be left alone and have a chance to warm up to you and their surroundings. Just let the child make the calls today--explain the basics and that you are there for anything they need, then let them process everything. Which I'm sure is nothing new to you guys given your history! You will do great and I'm so happy that you both are opening your hearts to these children that need a home and love!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hoping today really is the day for you! You are doing an incredible thing!

    ReplyDelete
  5. What you and Kevin are doing is so unbelievably HUGE! There will certainly be frustrations, but blessed, there are going to be so many triumphs in this. Praying for God's strength and peace to surround your family. Text me if you ever need a breather lol!

    ReplyDelete
  6. I really hope things work out today for you to receive a child! I know it is a sad occasion for them but the sooner they feel loved and taken care of by the two of you the better off they will be! I'm so frustrated for you that there are people in your lives that don't fully support this calling. Good for you for staying focused on God's calling! Praying for you!
    Kelsey
    www.thepeacockroost.com

    ReplyDelete
  7. So many feels!!! I can't even imagine, but I just admire your obedience and willingness to follow this calling. I can't wait to see how God rewards your faith!

    ReplyDelete
  8. I am so excited for you guys, and I can't tell you how much it means that you guys are sharing and being so open with your journey.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I can't even imagine all of the ranges of emotions that you're going through right now! I can only imagine how hard it must be for you to be so excited for the kids to come into your lives, while knowing that they're not happy about being there because they're being sucked away from their families. Even if the decision doesn't come until tomorrow, I know that y'all are going to make great foster parents!

    ReplyDelete
  10. I'm sorry you haven't felt supported by friends and family. When people don't understand sometimes they struggle with how to relate. I, on the other hand, know you guys will be great Foster parents and even though it will be hard you two are so qualified for the job.

    ReplyDelete
  11. You are so brave to do this! I can't imagine how hard it will be, but you will truly make a difference to someone who really needs it. I hope everything works out ok today and good luck with everything!

    ReplyDelete
  12. I love that you guys are stepping up to the calling. I was venting to a friend just yesterday, about how we as Christians are too comfortable. It's time for all of us to step up! I will be praying for an easy transitions for all of you. God is so faithful, and I believe he will fully equip you both for this new journey. xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  13. I'm stopping by to check in. Will I blog more often!? Hmmm, maybe off and on a little more. I still hold you guys in my prayers. You are taking a big step, but a big step WITH God ~ Jesus, so, there is a difference ;) xo Thinking of you!

    ReplyDelete
  14. A few of our family and friends were less than supportive also. It gets better, I promise! Hold strong to your calling and remind people that this is what God had lead you to in your life.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Kelly! Yes! Trying to :) And even since we've started now, I feel like they're supporting us better thankfully!

      Delete
  15. Hey! Shoot me an email! I'd love to hear your placement update!! It's thegloriousmundane@gmail.com.
    I could not agree more with everything that you said here. It's a wild ride, so buckle that seat belt!
    I think one of the hardest things is the lack of support, especially from people that I really expected support from. In general, I feel like I've been left to flail through this foster care journey without a huge support system. But I'm thankful that I am NOT alone, as Christ who led to me it will also lead me through it. Seriously, though...shoot me an email!

    ReplyDelete
  16. You are so strong! It takes a special couple to love these kids the way you do. Thanks for your service.

    ReplyDelete
  17. I had no idea you guys were fostering until I saw on Instagram. I'm so happy for y'all and I wish you the best! I bet all of the emotions are wild, I can only imagine. We have thought about fostering to adopt, but we need to pray about it more. I hate to sound selfish but we really want a child of our own first.
    xo, Lily

    ReplyDelete
  18. Such an exciting yet emotional time for you, hoping today's the day that you get to open your home to a little one who needs your love and care. I can't imagine the range of emotions you've been feeling, and I'm so sorry you haven't been receiving full support from those around you. Sending you lots of *hugs* and prayers as you transition into this new role <3
    Green Fashionista

    ReplyDelete
  19. Eeek - I hope everything goes well today - sending thoughts and prayers!

    ReplyDelete
  20. SUCH a big thing, and such a big calling! Thank you for being open to it. Praying your life will be a blessing and a change that the kids that come through your home need. Praying for you and your peace and strength as well!! XO

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Tabitha! I so appreciate your prayers!!! XOXO

      Delete
  21. You are destined for mamahood and you are gonna bless the heck out of those kiddos!

    ReplyDelete
  22. Oh goodness, I can relate to this on SO many levels. When we fostered (for 6 months) people said the RUDEST things to us. It was shocking. While there were many who supported us, there were many that did not. I pray you guys find strength & encouragement as you make this transition!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah I'm surprised at what people say. I haven't even experienced the weird ones in the grocery store yet but I'm expecting them! Thank you so much Heather!!! I'm happy to "meet" people who have done it before as well!

      Delete

Thank you for taking the time to comment! I absolutely LOVE reading your comments and try my hardest to reply via email! Make sure you're not a no-reply commenter so I can do that. If I can't email you, I'll try to reply on here :-) Have a wonderful day, friends!