Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Fear of the Unknown

Change can be scary.  Change can involve diving into the unknown.  I don’t know about you, but change is tough for me…even good change.

I like a schedule.  I like knowing when I’m exercising, when I’ll be at work and when I’ll be eating meals, because if I don’t, some of those things don’t happen.  Welcome to my life currently, where schedules do not exist!

It sounds like a ton of rest and rejuvenation, but I’ll be honest, it hasn’t totally been that lately.

Let’s back up a bit – my husband and I thought we’d move away from DFW in about 4-5 years, but the Lord had something else planned.  Everything just started falling into place for us to go ahead and move. 

Something I love about the Lord is how He leads me through life, especially in times like this.  I pray and ask Him what He wants and most of the time, He shows me.  I don’t always love His answer and don’t always trust Him, but He's never let me down.  He knows what is good for me better than I know for myself!

We started praying about if we should move a while back and felt lead to just put our house on the market and see what would happen.  So we did and said, “Lord, this is up to you.  If you want us to stay, don’t let our house sell right away.  If you want us to consider change, please make it sell.”  So we left town on a Friday after putting it on the market and already had an offer before we came back on Sunday.  Hello, answer.

I truly believe that what we ask God and how we respond is key.  If we ask for one specific answer, we may find ourselves being disappointed.  He may have a different plan.  It’s okay to ask for specific things, but know that He has a much better view of your future than you do and knows what is best for you.  I always ask Him for what I want but more importantly, ask Him to show us what His will in all of it and to help us trust Him in it.

So here I am…following a series of events after selling the house, we are moved to a new city, about to start new jobs, looking for a new church, and looking to make new friends.  My life has been crazy since quitting my job….it has not been restful as it might sound.  I’ve had interviews, have been trying to find somewhere to live, seeing family, traveled 11 hours to see my hubby’s grandpa and am helping my sister plan her wedding.  I haven’t had a moment to stop and relax.

Good news!  I accepted a job and am starting October 27 so I’m pumped!  I think it’ll be a great job and the team seems pretty awesome.  Thankfully, I have some time to rest before then.

So before I had quit my previous job, I thought, “this is going to be great.  I’m going to be stress-free!”  Ha!  How is it than once we move on from one stress-inducer, we find a million others to stress about?  I’m starting to realize that it’s what is in my heart.  Even when things are going well and God seems to be pushing things along perfectly, anxiety seems to find me (or I find it?).  Will I like my new job?  Will I make friends in San Antonio?  Will I like San Antonio?  Will my friends in DFW forget about me?  Will we find a church we love as much as our previous one?

As hard as I try to not be anxious, I can’t seem to let it go.  In my time with the Lord lately, He has told me to stop trying.  Stop trying to find relief myself, but allow Him to give me peace.  We’ve been trusting Him in the details, the baby steps, yet I let worry creep into my heart.  Worry about the unknown.

I know that I’m where God wants me to be.  I’m excited about the future.  My prayer the other day as I walked through a peaceful neighborhood talking to God was that He would give me peace in each moment, that I would stop and enjoy time with Him, time with my husband, time with my family, time alone and not worry about what will happen in my new job or with our future.  What does worrying do for my future?  Nothing.  It doesn’t change a thing. 



I am happy with this change.  I’m excited to make new friends and find a new church.  It sounds so easy to say or read about someone else, but it’s my life.  It’s huge for me.  Thank you for loving me though this process, blog friends! 

20 comments:

  1. Oh girl any time of transition is so hard. Praying for you to find peace and rest soon. GOOD LUCK with the new job! How exciting! And you're right--the Lord is totally guiding you--just trust Him :)

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  2. Change is ALWAYS scary, but I'm sure you'll be settling into new routines before you know it :) Enjoy this last week before the new job begins!

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  3. Oh girl! I am so so happy that everything is falling into place. Congratulations on the new job and good luck house hunting!
    It sounds like you're where you need to be, so everything will fall into place.

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  4. You will be amazing at everything don't even worry!

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  5. Great post Kel!! No matter what, change is scary...BUT also very exciting simply because it is new! Congrats on the new job and I cannot wait to hear more about it! I know you guys will find your nook and fit right in! Hope all is well! xoxo

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  6. I still haven't processed my moving since I started work right away and it's been crazy but I am praying for you and watching God move in your life is amazing! Love to you! and Congrats!

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  7. So excited that you have found another job and will get some rest before it starts!! Change is never easy but in your situation I think it's fun!!

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  8. I totally know where you're coming from! This is such a huge change, something I can relate too. I'm glad you have found a job, good luck, you will do great!! Keeping you guys in my prayers!

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  9. You were on my heart last night! So sorry things have been so stressful, I hope you feel a little more settled soon and get a little relaxing in. YAY for your new job, that is great! Thinking and praying for you two :)

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  10. You obviously know my feelings on the whole thing. You are rocking life right now I swear. You got a job so fast Kelli and had so many offers. Most of us dream about having those options. And even though it's been stressful moving, getting settled, finding a job, etc.... it's all good stress. Because He does have a plan for you and Kevin. I'm so excited for what is next for you. And can't wait to hear about the job! I'm sure we'll be chatting about that come next week. :) Love you friend!

    xoxo

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  11. I'm so happy to hear that things will be settling into a more normal routine for you once your new job starts!! I hope you're going to be able to enjoy this last week and trust that everything has a way of working itself out!!

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  12. Wowie, girlie!!! It really does sound like things are crazy for you with all these changes! How exciting that you're getting settled, making new friends, and getting back into a normal rhythm of life. :-)

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  13. I relate to this so much! A year ago when we moved I really did not have a clue why we were doing it except that hubby and I both agreed it was what God wanted. The blessings and lessons of the past year have been numerous. I have complete faith that you and your husband will be so blessed through your following God's call. The stress will fade and life will settle soon. Prayers for you as you all continue to transition!

    And congrats on the job!!! xo

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  14. Excited for you friend!!!! I know there is so much going on for your right now, but trusting the Lord will carry you through each and every day! His yoke is easy and his burden is light!!! Love you!!!!!!!!!!!

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  15. Amazing post. Exactly what I needed to read. Good luck in your new job, no stress! :)

    XO Chloe
    A Latte Lipstick

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  16. It's amazing how God makes things fall into place so easily, isn't it? And kind of terrifying at the same time! What a blessing to know that He has our best interests at heart, even when He moves things at a faster pace than planned or changes what we thought were the plans for our lives. Congratulations on the new job! I'm sure He will bless you in it!

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  17. I'm so excited for you! Congrats on your new job! What an awesome way to start off your time in your new town. I don't think you both will have any problem making friends and the Lord led you there and He will find you a new church. YAY!

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  18. I get anxious with change too. You perspective, faith, and trust in the Lord will lead you to peace, I just know it. In the meantime, I'll pray for continued strength, clarity, and direction for both of you.
    xoxo

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  19. I read this post on my Bloglovin' app right when it posted and I was "head nodding" the whole was through. There's so much truth in this post! Like you said, I will commonly think that a transition time will be a huge much-needed break and it's the complete opposite. I'm learning to find rest and peace during my daily routines of life. And, I love that you're working on that too as you get settled in there! I'm looking forward to hearing how your new job is going. :)

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  20. I love how God is so in control and knows all things before we even can consider them - it's such a relief! I'm so excited for you and your husband, and this journey that God is putting ya'll on. It's going to be awesome!

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