Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Rejection Hurts

Have you ever been rejected?

I'd guess that each person has been rejected to some extent and at some point in his or her life.

Maybe you didn't make the football team.  Or you weren't selected to be in an exclusive group in high school.  Or you ran for student body president and didn't win the vote.  Or you remember the "popular" kids in school never accepting you.

Maybe that dream job you thought you get didn't offer you the position.  Or you never got the promotion that you thought you deserved.

Perhaps you never got "the boy" growing up, because he was always chasing after other girls.  Or that guy you were in love with never noticed you.

Maybe you've felt rejection in your own family.  You brother doesn't want to be a part of the family and you don't know why or what you did wrong.  Maybe your parents discarded you, leaving you feeling rejected and unloved.  Perhaps you did something wrong and never received the forgiveness that you so desperately seek.

We've all experience rejection, haven't we?  And it flat out HURTS!  I can think of SO many examples in my life that I could write a book about it...from being rejected by boys when I was a teenager to not being accepted into a respected club in college to painful family situations.

Rejection that hurts the most is usually by people that you love.  Maybe I'm just naive or ignorant, but I have always viewed people as being inherently "good."  Truthfully, it's the other way around - we are all born with a sinful nature and are inherently selfish.  However, we were created by the Most High, the Savior who is always good.  So we each have good in us right?!

Specifically talking about rejection involving the people we love - I constantly have to remind myself that because we are all sinful beings, there will be pain.  There will be hurt and there will be rejection.

Jesus was rejected by those that he loved.  He was rejected by every person who plead for him to be executed.  There were huge crowds yelling and cheering at his execution, yet he still continued to love each and every person there.  Some of his closest friends, Judas and Peter, rejected him when it mattered the most.

I'm sure there has been a Judas in your life - he greeted Jesus with a kiss...a kiss!!!...and turned him over to the Roman soldiers.  That is the ultimate rejection wouldn't you say?!

Yet in the midst of his own flogging and execution, Jesus said, "Father, forgive them, for they don't know what they are doing." (Luke 23:34)

If Jesus can forgive the men that were killing him, surely I can forgive those who reject me.

Instead of sitting around and dwelling on the hurt I feel from those who are rejecting me, I choose to say, "Father, forgive them, for they don't know what they are doing."  This is hard.  They may be completely in the wrong and you have done nothing wrong, but you can still forgive them.  You don't always have to reconcile with them or put yourself in the position to be hurt again, but your heart can be changed.  YOU are the only one you can control, not others.

Remember that you are a child of God whom he dearly loves.  Zephaniah 3:17 says He takes great delight in you!  He rejoices over you with singing!

Don't let someone else control how you view yourself - you are giving them too much power.  Remember that your worth is in Christ alone!  You may continue to be rejected, but you no longer have to live in pain if you believe that it is God who accepts you and loves you immensely!

How have you dealt with rejection in the past?  Is this something you've learned to take well or do you still struggle with it?

I'm linking up with Cassie at Sage the Blog and Cassie at Living on Cloud Nine for In The Word Tuesday!


  1. Oh gosh, I struggle with just being angry and getting this "well people just suck attitude." This is a constant struggle for me and I think you laid it out perfectly.

  2. i hate rejection! haha. i am much better at handling it than when i was a teenager, so thats good at least :)

  3. I cried as I read this because rejection is one of my biggest struggles. I've had a few encounters with it too. From a close friend (who ended up telling me that she really didn't like me and just liked my other friend), to boyfriends, to rejection from a colleague over a year ago... rejection has echoed in my life. Unfortunately when it hits, it usually devastates me.

    I recall in the last incident thinking about Christ and how He was SOOOO rejected. Even at the cross, His father had to turn His face away from Him because of all the sin on Him. How powerful... and shattering.

    Thank you for sharing this Kelli. It's provoked many thoughts in me.

    Wishing you a blessed day.

  4. Great post Kelli! "Don't let someone else control how you view yourself" <-- great way to look at things as well! Thanks for sharing!

  5. Amen Kelli! Love this, Zephaniah 3:17 says He takes great delight in you! He rejoices over you with singing!

  6. Rejection is just no fun PERIOD!! I remember there was a job that I was really hungry for and I studied made it past 5 rounds of interviews and they decided to go with a guy whose dad was a big client (figures right!!) so that one stung, but you just realize it wasn't meant to be - what will be will be as cheesy as it sounds!

  7. I think rejection is a fear we all have. Because it does hurt! I remember always doing so much when I was younger so I wouldn't be rejected. I did sinful things and more than I should have just so people would like me. And that's no way to live, for anyone. This is a really great post Kelli, thank you. :)

  8. A good word!!! We will all face this at some point: rejection! But, what a great opportunity to press into the Lord and trust Him and forgive others!

  9. Rejection ALWAYS hurts and is scary, but when I look back at the things that didn't work out there was usually something better waiting just around the corner. Thanks for sharing :)


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