Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Learning To Forgive Yourself

Forgiving others is a tough task.  Learning to forgive yourself can be even harder.

I am not proud of everything in my past.  There was a time in my life (after I became a believer) that I was not walking with the Lord.  I did many sinful things and honestly, I made myself feel better about it by turning off a little button inside of me called 'conviction'.  I always KNEW it was sin and KNEW I shouldn't be doing it, but I still did because it was the easier way out.  It was "fun".

Years later, after a lot of heartache and pain, I decided to turn my heart back to Christ and change the way I was living.  I was dealing with some painful consequences and finally realized how unfulfilling my actions and some friendships were during that time.  I can't say I was perfect.  I most definitely went back to my old ways after deciding to change but over time, the length between those moments were longer and longer until I really had changed completely.

God and I talked often about this change and I knew without a doubt that He had forgiven me and that those who love me also forgave me.


Here was my problem...I could not forgive myself.  I was so mad at myself and felt so unworthy and ashamed.  No one around me projected this onto me.  I truly just put it on myself...well, I'm sure that Satan had a hand in it...telling me little lies about how dirty and unclean I was.

The whole time, God was telling me to let go of it and forgive myself because He had and honestly, HIS love and forgiveness is all that matters.  When the Bible says that He "forgives us our sins", it means that you are wiped completely clean (Acts 3:19).  You are washed whiter than snow (Psalm 51:7).  You are a new creation in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17).

I carried around this baggage for years.  It crippled me from believing in myself and my future.

I'm not sure what did it, but it finally clicked...I was finally able to forgive myself because my worth is in Christ alone.  I finally saw myself as worthy because of what Christ did for me on the Cross, not because of anything I had done or said.

People could tell that I was more confident.  I was able to accept love because I love myself.  I know I am nothing without Christ, but with Him, I am beautiful, I am worthy, I am His perfect creation.  



At times, Satan still tries to remind me of my faults in the past, but I feel stronger now...strong enough to stand up and say "I am His, therefore, this no longer has a hold on me.  I have been freed from the power of sin and now live with no condemnation."


I'm linking up with Cassie at Sage the Blog and Cassie at Living on Cloud Nine for In The Word Tuesday!

7 comments:

  1. Oh my gosh we are so similar. I have really struggled with the same thing. The majority of my life I was a huge sinner, and although I still am, I know who I was God washed away, and forgave. Love this! Thanks for joining us again :)

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  2. I think we have all done things that we regret, but I agree, forgiving yourself is very important. I'm glad you are happier and stronger now :)

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  3. I have a lot of things from my past I wish I could take back too, a re-do. I am so glad that I was able to forgive myself too, Jesus loves me and forgives me so how could I not?! We definitely learn and grow from our mistakes!

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  4. I absolutely love this! I went through a phase in life where I drifted very far from God and made a lot of decisions/choices that I regret. About a year ago I decided I really needed to re-focus my life and it has been the biggest blessing. As you mentioned, it was hard to let go of a lot of the bad decisions I made but at the same time I also think I'm a better person for going through all of this!

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  5. Oh girl you have no idea. I, to this day, still carry this baggage around with me, and cannot forgive myself of my past sins. I'm really trying to re-engage in my faith, but it's hard when my hubby doesn't seem to want to be engaged. I try to follow his lead, but maybe I need to make my own path and start up my daily Bible readings and prayer again. Maybe then I'll be able to eventually know and believe that He loves me and forgives me my sins.

    So glad you were able to finally realize that you are worthy!
    xoxo

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  6. I find it hard to forgive myself as well. But I always go back to Galatians when Paul writes: it is for FREEDOM that Christ set us FREE. I spend months on this verses, looking up the greek and cross referncing. But what it came down to me was that Christ set me free so I could live in freedom. If I am not living in freedom, then it's like I am saying Christ died for nothing. Thanks for sharing, love.

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  7. This is such a good message for all of us! I love that Romans 8 passage. It's so important to put on the full army of God so that when the enemy comes to condemn - we can tell him to flee - so thankful we have a God who is so gracious to forgive us and not condemn us! Thanks for this sweet word

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